The Slowlympics

Welcome to The Slowlympics! The only race where the competitors nap between strides, and victory is measured in inches per hour! In today’s main event, seven of nature’s most unhurried athletes—including the drowsy sloth, the ever-determined turtle, and the surprisingly spry hedgehog—take their places on the starting line. As the spectator, you will be betting—watching from the sidelines, dry-erase board in hand, placing your bets with the keen eye of someone who knows how to read a sleepy stare or a hesitant shuffle. This simultaneous betting game unfolds over three whimsical moments of the day (rounds): Dawn, Noon, and Dusk. Each round, seven movement cards are drawn from a deck where every animal has two cards hidden inside. Some creatures might surge forward twice. Others? They may just snooze through the round entirely. Strategy will emerge from observing the race's slow developments and adjusting bets as new information is revealed. After each movement is revealed, players mark a bet, hoping their chosen champion will creep ahead. When the sun sets on this slow-motion marathon, the animals are ranked by how far they've gone. Bets on the first-place animal score four points, second place earns three, third place two, while the rest, bless their tiny feet, still bring in one point each. The player with the most points at the end is crowned the ultimate Slowlympics oracle. So grab your board, place your bets, and get ready for the slowest thrill ride of your life.